Lynx Africa

There’s only so many ways you can hint to a person that their odor is unbearable, but for Gary no amount of gifts would hit the mark. We gave him a Lynx Africa shower gift set for Christmas, a smart smelling Hugo Boss cologne aftershave for his birthday, and some lovely smelling body scrubs, just because – but none of that seemed to work. Making excuses for him worked to help our sanity for a while, but eventually our excuses were proven wrong.
The first excuse we made was that perhaps his shower was broken, or maybe he couldn’t pay his gas bill. That excuse satisfied us until Gary invited Jill from human resources over for dinner and she did a little bit of snooping for us. She confirmed that his shower did indeed work, and the gas was very much working.
The next explanation we came up with was that he couldn’t afford to go to the launderette to get his clothes washed so we did a little test. Angie, who sat in the booth next to me, ‘accidentally’ tripped and splashed some of her tomato soup on Gary’s pale blue shirt. It was important that it was this shirt as we knew he wore it most days so we would be able to see if it had been washed or not. The next time he wore it the stain had vanished.
Since none of the other explanations ended up being true the office finally came up with an explanation that had to be correct – he goes to the gym before work and doesn’t have time to shower before coming here. The McDonald’s breakfast he brings into the office every morning is just some good post-gym food right? I’m sure it’s full of protein and other healthy things.
This whole ordeal continued for another three months until Andy, from the booth next to Gary, decided to take the issue to the CEO, and that was when it was confirmed that Gary had lost his sense of smell during a skiing accident, and that we are all absolute knobs.

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